Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Disingenuous
Despite my assertive and aggressive behavior in sports and other competitions, I am fairly non-confrontational when it comes to people and relationships. I try to be diplomatic and compromising, even pleasant in clashes or conflict. Sometimes I guess I’m downright disingenuous.
Take for example my three recent encounters with my neighbors. Yes, the negligent neighbors with the dastardly dogs. I think it’s safe to say that my feelings for the dogs have somewhat transferred to their owners. Usually this is not a problem, because I almost never see or talk to them. (At least not to their faces; I berate them furiously under my breath whenever I hear the dogs barking, and barking….) Only occasionally do I see the neighbors pass by in their car, or catch a glimpse of them entering their house.
So then is it mere coincidence that in the week since I wrote The Hounds from Hell blog that I’ve actually spoken to Mr. Bad-Dogs twice, and Mrs. Bad-Dogs once??! I was terse, but polite, and never confronted them about their animals.
The first incident was in Wal-Mart, when Mr. Bad-Dogs approached us with a hillbilly grin and an effusive, “Hey Neighbors!” as though we were actually friends. My husband and I smiled wanly and listened incredulously as Mr. Bad-Dogs bragged about how his dogs had killed a skunk in their backyard. Unbelievable. But neither I nor my husband took the initiative to castigate him for the dogs’ intolerable barking which we suffer nearly daily.
Then I saw Mr. and Mrs. Bad-Dogs at the gym where I work, each on separate occasions. Again, I feigned politeness, and engaged in the common courtesies of inquiring as to their welfare. Still, I didn’t bring up the subject of the dogs.
Why didn’t I ream them out with a vituperative diatribe that would send them running with their tails between their legs?! Or at the very least, make a subtly snide, or catty remark disclosing my indignation about their dogs? I wonder how I could have been so fraudulently friendly, so insincerely sociable.
I guess I really am disingenuous, or maybe just too nice.
Take for example my three recent encounters with my neighbors. Yes, the negligent neighbors with the dastardly dogs. I think it’s safe to say that my feelings for the dogs have somewhat transferred to their owners. Usually this is not a problem, because I almost never see or talk to them. (At least not to their faces; I berate them furiously under my breath whenever I hear the dogs barking, and barking….) Only occasionally do I see the neighbors pass by in their car, or catch a glimpse of them entering their house.
So then is it mere coincidence that in the week since I wrote The Hounds from Hell blog that I’ve actually spoken to Mr. Bad-Dogs twice, and Mrs. Bad-Dogs once??! I was terse, but polite, and never confronted them about their animals.
The first incident was in Wal-Mart, when Mr. Bad-Dogs approached us with a hillbilly grin and an effusive, “Hey Neighbors!” as though we were actually friends. My husband and I smiled wanly and listened incredulously as Mr. Bad-Dogs bragged about how his dogs had killed a skunk in their backyard. Unbelievable. But neither I nor my husband took the initiative to castigate him for the dogs’ intolerable barking which we suffer nearly daily.
Then I saw Mr. and Mrs. Bad-Dogs at the gym where I work, each on separate occasions. Again, I feigned politeness, and engaged in the common courtesies of inquiring as to their welfare. Still, I didn’t bring up the subject of the dogs.
Why didn’t I ream them out with a vituperative diatribe that would send them running with their tails between their legs?! Or at the very least, make a subtly snide, or catty remark disclosing my indignation about their dogs? I wonder how I could have been so fraudulently friendly, so insincerely sociable.
I guess I really am disingenuous, or maybe just too nice.
Comments:
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I think that next time you run into them, you should bring up the dogs' barking in a humorous way. I'm not sure how you can joke about it, but you may have plenty of time to think of something. Then they'll realize there's an issue.
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